Excuse the expletives in the title. But I refer to one grey afternoon in early 2006. I was at the Wangfujing Xinhua Bookstore and was applying for their “Consumption Record Card” and their reader club. This being a State-owned enterprise, of course, I got the typical “Chinese Planned Economy” treatment, which meant that:
1. the application form was on this piece of stale, grey A4 paper, obviously done with an MS imperialist application software, and with not a dab of color at all;
2. the card they gave me somehow got itself demagnetized after some time (there’s QC sleeping on the job again!);
3. the worst, of course, was the “welcome letter”: a piece of tattered, super-thin A4 that looked like it underwent quite a beating on the printing press.
That was all.
I felt insulted. I was being treated like bull$*&^. So I made an internal declaration: DO NOT TREAT OUR BEIMAC PEOPLE LIKE BULL$*&^.
BeiMac members may receive their welcome letters late — hang in there, guys, we’re doing all we can to fix this. But for the lucky masses that apply at a meeting, they get:
1. an application form that would even make government application forms from Taiwan, Switzerland or the UK kind of faint in comparison (I checked out the Taiwanese ID form out once — I swear they could have done a better job). On the form, the areas you have to fill out are marked in RED, and the optional bobs are in BLUE. Nice and easy;
2. a membership envelope in full color, along with 4 sheets of A4 in full color, greetings from me and our eternally beloved Secretary Ketty Gao (you’ve done a great job with the group), and a look at BeiMac bureaus in and outside China; two pages of the BeiMac world in full color; an excerpt of the user group constitution; and vendor deals, ALL IN COLOR;
3. a password envelope in red and white, along with the password;
4. your membership card.
WE DO NOT TREAT OUR MEMBERS LIKE BULL$*&^T MARK MY WORDS. I mean, seriously, after comparing what we do with what the guys at the Wangfujing bookshop do, I give the floor to a quote from my beloved chemistry teacher Mr. Marchetti:
“You should be shot (although you recently were flogged)!”